The Aisle by Gloria Amosun

So, we have a guest writer today and guess what?! She's my sister!!!!!

Okay... The aisle... Well, I'll allow the story speak for itself but I can assure you, you will be glued to the edge of your seat till the end of the story... It's a bit long but you'll be glad you stayed till the end ;)

Have an edifying read and do leave your comments!!!

Here it goes.....

As I lay in wait for that beautiful day,
My heart beat faster and my smiles wider.
I couldn't believe it was only one month away
The day we first met was so clear, I still remember.

My love for him was in every sense unending
But fascinating it still is how he loved me more.
The single life farewell I was going to be bidding
Married to the man I love, my heart was so sure!

And NO! It wasn't in any way a lie

This man waited! He loved me even better!
Not ending up together simply meant we would die.

....Or that's what I thought until a month later.

So, here came the day that led to my forever.
The future I dreamed of was just hours away;
The seal of a lifetime covenant would surround my finger,
And all my doubts and fears would be put at bay.

In my beautiful white dress I stood;
A symbol of purity and God's artistic beautification!
Didn't need a mirror to know I was looking good.
And ready to become today the talk of the nation.

In a bid to not be late, I hurried to the car
While mom complained about how "the bride is never this early".
I didn't care about that, besides the church was far,
All my mind could process was how I loved him dearly.

I was right; there was traffic and I got to church in time.
Music playing, guests seated, but there was THIS SCREAMING SILENCE...
Ignorantly, I marched in; didn't want to waste any more time
Instead of a ring, I got a letter, saying, "I'm scared of commitment!"
I remember seeing this in movies, the bride always passed out.

But, faced with it, I couldn't for a minute afford to be unconscious.
I couldn't think, I couldn't even scream out loud.
So, I smiled to avoid pity coming from guests; it was contagious.

I'd have left concluding it was April fool's but this was third of May!
So, I made excuses, lying that the letter said "he was delayed."
But I knew my dreams had been shattered by this letter in one day,
And I couldn't deceive myself with the excuses I had made.

On the aisle I stood, lying in wait
For a future that was extinct before it came to being.
I began to feel unease and a growing hate
For him and the imperfect person I had been.

On the aisle, I started a battle;
Fighting depression, hate and my emotions.
The spark in my eyes grew dimmer till it was too little
And I began to lose my desire to love, my passion.

On the aisle I remembered the golden rule,
But was I to love him also for running away?
He took a part of me and made my pieces play the fool;
Was I to love one who stole my future in a day?

On the aisle, I had changed my vows;
To not move forward nor look back at what I had felt.
I stood still, despite all the disappointed shouts,
For fear of what was now past and what the future held

I was taken home in the evening, after falling.
I refused every form of comfort and advice, any form of food...
I'd almost gone mad, my legs were numb from standing.
But I knew that that spot on the aisle was where I still stood.

On the aisle, I made a decision
To become repellant to every form of love or attention
I got mad quickly, I gave way for depression
Couldn't fight anymore; it sapped my strength and dimmed my vision.

On the aisle, I began to live.

Building walls around body and heart, living in seclusion

Fear made excuses for me, a list of reasons I couldn't leave

And I was deaf to what everyone told me; every opinion.

It took me a long time to realise.
I'd let my life slip away for one horrible incident.
I had played the script allowing my own ruin to be finalised;
I was the one behind the wheels; I caused my accident!

I had pushed myself to the wall.

Getting hurt and angry wasn't my sin, staying that way was.

I had pushed myself till I began to fall

And deceit set in as I hid behind my glamour and fuzz.

Yes, there was the presence of the "God factor",

But He was nothing more than a factor in my life!
I was in charge of my life, he had just one sector.
Where I accused Him of being the reason I wasn't a wife.

Alas! My faults it was able to decipher
And what I realised was what it HAD to be.
I'd gotten so conscious of the aisle, I forgot there was an altar
Only standing a few steps away from me.

It was a long walk, it always is a very long walk.

Not for distance, but for the rush of emotions your heart'll feel

There's many distractions: the mockery, and the cheap talk,

But finding your way to the altar is the only way your heart'll heal.

There's always that phase for the aisle

That phase where you've dwelt so long on your present, it's become your past;

Where you've become unconscious you're living a guile
And you start thinking every previous minute was meant to be your last.
But beyond the aisle always lies the altar
The aisle's a process, don't make it a place to mar.

Beyond my fears lie the truth I was able to decipher:
The groom's not always on the aisle, this new one became my altar.

THE AISLE IS NOTHING BUT YOUR PRESENT PAST!!!

What's your aisle? Take it to the altar today so you can be forever healed...

Shalom!
Precious.